You Know Your're A Deadhead When.....
- You spend more money on blank tapes than you do on rent.
- None of your tapes have names on them, just dates.
- You recognize "DOSESBUDSHROOMZX" as both a statement and a question.
- You furnish your entire apartment with the "Free Funky Stuff" from Sony or Maxell tape offers.
- You prefix every noun with "Kind", or "Ice Cold".
- You spend more money at the post office than at the gas station.
- You still have the parking tag from NYE 1976 hangn from your rear view mirror.
- On forms you list your occupation as "?".
- GDTRFB, SSDD, BIODTL, FOTD, SOTM, LTGTR, NFA, and WALSTIB all mean something to you.
- At any given moment you can calculate how many days, hours, minutes and seconds it's
been since ALLIGATOR has been played.
- Someone asks you what you do for fun, and you just smile real wide.
- The first entry on you MCI Freinds and Family List is 415-457-6388.
- You got #12.
- Your car windows look like stained glass from being covered with coloured stickers.
- You think $1 for a grilled cheese sandwich is pretty damn cheap.
- You've figured out how the correlation between the date and the # of beats to start BIODTL.
- Your boss notices members of your family only become deathly ill when there happens to
be a Dead show within a 100 mile radius.
- You know how "the song" goes...
- The bus came by, and you got on.
- Whenever you walk through a parking lot you instinctively hold up your right index
finger in the air.
- The compass in your car is callibrated so that it always points to the Oakland Coliseum.
- You can nstall a new cylinder head on a '68 VW microbus with your eyes closed.
- You have more tie-dyes than neck-ties.
- You find it amazing that some people fill ballons with AIR.
- You try to convince you grandmother than Aoxomoxoa is an acceptable play for a
Scrabble triple-word play.
- Your dog is named Bertha.
- Your KID is named Althea.
- You spend NYE with your cassette deck instead of your wife.
- Your license plate spells "HEY NOW".
- You've learned to DUCK.
- Your stock portfolio includes 50 shares of the HANES BLACK T-Shirt division.
- You consider a "miracle" to be someone giving you a ticket to tonight's show.
- You can't leave the house without wondering where the tickets are.
- Left unoccupied your hand instinctively taps the beat to Not Fade Away.
- You actually are in search of the Eternal Buzz.
- You're still waiting for that second verse of Dark Star that they started back in May of '73.
- You swear the guy walking by you at the football game just said "doses".
- There are 10 people still shacking up at your house from the summer 1990 tour, and you
don't know who any of them are.
- You consider veggie burritos gourmet.
- You know the words to Truckin' better than Bob (OK, I guess this doesn't necessarily
make you a deadHEAD...).
- You can remember an Other One that wasn't followed by Wharf Rat, or a Throwing Stones
that wasn't followed by Not Fade Away.
- You try to claim gas to and from Dead shows as an ncome tax deduction.
- You know the zip code for San Rafael, CA by heart.
- You have the postal rates memorized.
- Your copy of DeadBase has long since broken out of it's binding and the ink is
beginning to wear off the pages.
- You send all moring looking for this killer Playin' Jam that you think is on this tape
from '72, probably the Fillmore, and you know it's a Maxell with the label on upside down,
but it doesn't have a case, and you know the tape starts with Sugaree but the last time
you think you saw it was in '83 and it was under your freind Brian's refrigerator, or
maybe it was just a filler on that Alpine Valley '89 show, which you think you listened to
in that dude's bus on the way to Dear Creek this year, but his number is on the back of
the ticket stub that you think is stuffed in your Soundboard copy of 7/8/78 set II, and
you have NO idea where that is, so you pull out DeadBase and start lookinf for every show
since '71 that even had a Playin' but by '77 or so you forgot what you were lookin for
because you got wrapped up in the Nice version of He's Gone where Mickey starts playin the
beam with dead cat, etc., etc.... (If this sounds like something that happens to you every
day, you KNOW you're a deadhead.)
- You're beginning to wonder if Bob's ever going to retire that Tamalpais Cheifs shirt.
- Lately, It Occures To You Just Exactly What A Long Strange Trip It's Been.